Stupid Penny

So it's Friday night, I just finished brushing Ryland's teeth and am now brushing my own.  Ryland's standing next to me.  He tugs my shirt and I look down to see him sticking out his tongue to show me the shiny penny he just placed on it.  He laughs, still sticking out his tongue.  I tell him, "take that out.  It's disgusting and you might choke."  He proceeds to retrieve the penny with his fingers and instantly his gag reflex is triggered and down goes the penny in one clean gulp.  He looks surprised, then sticks out his tongue again.  " It's all gone Mommy!"  "Oh my god Ryland...  You swallowed the penny?"  "Yeah, Mommy it's all gone!"  Thinking...  thinking...  thinking...  what do I do?  This has never happened to any one I could think of.  Will it "pass?"  Are his intestines big enough for that?  Should I have him throw it up?  No, he might choke...  what should I do?  Call nurse connection.  So, apparently this happens quite often.  The nurse chuckles after going through the gamut of questions to finally determine that Ryland's air-ways, drink-ways and food-ways are all clear.  Perfect!  Then she tells me, he'll probably pass it within the next day or two and that I will need to check his poop for it and if it doesn't appear after 3 days that I should probably get him x-rayed.  Oh great...  I get to check poop for the next 2 or 3 days.

The next day, the family is getting ready to go to my parents house to finish picking up all the stuff we left there from the party the week before.  After my parents, we have a birthday party to go to, then my aunt's for the Pacquiao fight, so I'm trying to get all the kids stuff together for a long day/night out.  Ryan's already outside with Joss waiting for me and Ryland.  I'm running around trying to hurry up and I see Ryland from the corner of my eye start to take off his clothes.  I tell him, "Ryland, stop we're leaving now."  Then I smell it.  Great.  He's about ready to take off his diaper and I sternly tell him, "do NOT take off your diaper!  Mommy will do it because you're going to make a mess."  Of course, he doesn't listen.  I turn around for one quick second and now he's buck naked and the diaper's on the floor.  URGH!  "Why don't you listen to Mommy?  I told you not to take off your diaper!  Don't touch anything and come here!"  I lead him to the downstairs bathroom with the diaper in hand ready to search for that stupid penny.  I tell Ryland again, "don't touch anything.  Mommy needs to clean you up."  I place the diaper on top of the step stool that we keep there for Ryland to reach the sink.  As I'm kneeling in front of the step stool, manipulating the diaper so that I can smear the poop and what appears to be the skins of grapes he ate just that morning trying to find that stupid penny, I suddenly feel tiny fingers wiping down the middle of my back.  I immediately stop.  "RYLAND!  I told you not to touch anything!  Urgh!"  I take a deep breath to control my temper and me from screaming at him.  I turn around and see him holding up his poopie hands.  I grab his shoulders with my two hands and look him square in the eye.  "Ryland, you make Mommy so mad!"  I picked him up under his pits, holding him at arms length and take him to the upstairs bathtub to wash him down.  Once I had him cleaned, diapered and dressed, I sent him outside to wait with Ryan and Joss so that I could wash myself down and change my clothes.  Needless to say, that stupid penny didn't show up until his 3rd poop the next day.  **grrrrr**  Boys!  I swear, they're trouble with a capital "T."